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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?